1 00:00:02,059 --> 00:00:03,478 A reading from the Holy Bible. 2 00:00:03,748 --> 00:00:06,714 Genesis, chapter one. "God created the heaven and the 3 00:00:06,834 --> 00:00:09,940 earth, and the earth was without form and void, and darkness was 4 00:00:10,060 --> 00:00:11,148 - upon the face of the deep..." - Hey, buddy, do we 5 00:00:11,267 --> 00:00:12,546 have to be kneeling this entire time? 6 00:00:12,666 --> 00:00:13,498 Yeah, this is not comfortable. 7 00:00:13,618 --> 00:00:14,615 I mean, it's gonna get uncomfortable. 8 00:00:14,751 --> 00:00:16,818 Yes, you need to be kneeling. It's 11:58, and Mac Day's about 9 00:00:16,820 --> 00:00:19,343 to officially start. I want there to be ceremony. 10 00:00:19,463 --> 00:00:21,429 Are we gonna be in the dark the whole time? 11 00:00:21,431 --> 00:00:23,598 My goodness, this is a lot of complaining. 12 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:25,534 Charlie, can you please remind everyone of the rules? 13 00:00:25,536 --> 00:00:27,502 We are about to officially begin Mac Day. 14 00:00:27,504 --> 00:00:29,471 For the entirety of this day, we will forced to do everything Mac 15 00:00:29,473 --> 00:00:31,439 wants us to do. And if anyone is caught 16 00:00:31,441 --> 00:00:33,575 complaining? An extra day is added to Mac 17 00:00:33,577 --> 00:00:35,744 Day. If you cannot resist the urge to 18 00:00:35,746 --> 00:00:37,679 complain, you are allowed one scream a day to the ceremonial 19 00:00:37,681 --> 00:00:39,881 screaming pillow. That's right. 20 00:00:39,883 --> 00:00:41,850 Charlie, when it was your day, did I complain about searching 21 00:00:41,852 --> 00:00:43,985 for goblins for ten hours straight? 22 00:00:43,987 --> 00:00:45,954 Well, ghouls, and, no, they didn't complain, 'cause we found 23 00:00:45,956 --> 00:00:47,923 three. It was pretty sweet. We found none. 24 00:00:47,925 --> 00:00:49,858 Yeah? We found no ghouls, we found 25 00:00:49,860 --> 00:00:53,995 no goblins, we found no gremlins, because they don't exist. Well... 26 00:00:53,997 --> 00:00:55,931 Guys, this whole thing was meant to bring us closer 27 00:00:55,933 --> 00:00:57,899 together, and by the end of it, you're gonna feel a little bit 28 00:00:57,901 --> 00:01:02,237 closer to me, and if I've done my job right, a little bit closer to God. Yes. 29 00:01:02,239 --> 00:01:04,205 Because I've modeled my day after the seven days of God's 30 00:01:04,207 --> 00:01:06,541 creation, making my one day feel like an entire week. 31 00:01:06,543 --> 00:01:08,677 Oh! Come on, man. Really? 32 00:01:08,679 --> 00:01:10,645 Oh, come on, will you? For crying out loud, my knees 33 00:01:10,647 --> 00:01:13,014 are... 34 00:01:13,016 --> 00:01:18,913 Three, two, one, begin! On the first day, God said, "Let there be... 35 00:01:21,556 --> 00:01:22,648 Mac." 36 00:01:32,728 --> 00:01:43,224 Sync and corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 37 00:01:46,252 --> 00:01:48,203 Seven straight hours of lecturing? 38 00:01:48,323 --> 00:01:51,410 Yeah, and five hours alone dedicated to the evils of homosexuality... from him? 39 00:01:51,412 --> 00:01:53,713 Did anyone else notice that he had an erection the entire time? 40 00:01:53,715 --> 00:01:54,380 Of course. 41 00:01:54,382 --> 00:01:55,147 How could you miss it? 42 00:01:55,149 --> 00:01:57,049 I mean, it was, like, shooting... It was right there. 43 00:01:57,051 --> 00:01:58,468 Shh, shh, shh-- here he comes. 44 00:01:58,588 --> 00:02:01,755 Okay, guys, I want to introduce a new theme to the day. 45 00:02:01,757 --> 00:02:05,559 So I'd like to infuse the religious angle with the theme of badass. 46 00:02:05,561 --> 00:02:08,228 And I quote once again from Genesis. 47 00:02:08,230 --> 00:02:10,230 "And God said, 'Let there be a firmament in the midst of the 48 00:02:10,232 --> 00:02:13,620 waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.' 49 00:02:13,740 --> 00:02:15,707 And God made the firmament and divided the waters which were 50 00:02:15,709 --> 00:02:17,910 under the firmament from the waters which were above the 51 00:02:17,911 --> 00:02:20,245 firmament. And it was so." 52 00:02:20,247 --> 00:02:22,614 There you have it. There we have what? 53 00:02:22,616 --> 00:02:25,016 Uh, the what...? What are you saying? 54 00:02:25,018 --> 00:02:27,152 It's water. I'm saying "water," 'cause it 55 00:02:27,154 --> 00:02:29,287 said water, like, eight times. So, it's water. 56 00:02:29,289 --> 00:02:31,489 That's what the whole thing is-- water. 57 00:02:31,491 --> 00:02:36,027 Water what? Water and badass, badass and water. Ah. 58 00:02:36,029 --> 00:02:38,196 Yes! We're doing a Project Badass 59 00:02:38,198 --> 00:02:40,598 video over the Schuylkill River. Yes! Yes! 60 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,934 Ah! Yes! 61 00:02:42,936 --> 00:02:45,303 Ah. All right! Hey! 62 00:02:45,305 --> 00:02:47,539 Do you guys hear the motorcycle? 63 00:02:47,541 --> 00:02:49,507 I have another special surprise. We will be joined by my cousin 64 00:02:49,509 --> 00:02:51,843 all day! Your cousin? 65 00:02:51,845 --> 00:02:54,012 Yeah, my cousin from the country. 66 00:02:54,014 --> 00:02:55,980 I haven't seen him in, like, forever, but, guys, trust me. 67 00:02:55,982 --> 00:02:57,949 He's, like, the second biggest badass I know, so it's gonna 68 00:02:57,951 --> 00:03:00,118 be awesome. Country Mac coming to the big 69 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:02,520 city. 70 00:03:02,522 --> 00:03:04,856 - Country Mac! - Hey, City Mac! 71 00:03:14,434 --> 00:03:21,906 Holy shit, there's two of them. 72 00:03:21,908 --> 00:03:26,578 Okay, I think I like this framing. 73 00:03:26,580 --> 00:03:28,680 I don't even know what it is you want us to do. 74 00:03:28,682 --> 00:03:30,582 Well, I'm gonna jump from the Strawberry Mansion Bridge. 75 00:03:30,584 --> 00:03:32,917 What?! Yes! 76 00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:35,086 Holy shit! What do you mean, from it? 77 00:03:35,088 --> 00:03:37,488 To the water? What?! 78 00:03:37,490 --> 00:03:39,490 Yeah, I'm gonna jump from the top of the bridge to the water. 79 00:03:39,492 --> 00:03:41,159 Okay, I need you to act like concerned citizens, but I need 80 00:03:41,161 --> 00:03:43,094 this to feel real, okay, guys? So, I need you to be neutral 81 00:03:43,096 --> 00:03:45,096 about the jumper prior to the jump, 'cause you don't know me. 82 00:03:45,098 --> 00:03:46,898 You don't know this man. But I need you to react at the 83 00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:48,766 same time because I need to draw the jump in later to match your 84 00:03:48,768 --> 00:03:50,802 reaction. You lost me there. 85 00:03:50,804 --> 00:03:52,237 What do you mean, "Draw the jump?" 86 00:03:52,239 --> 00:03:54,038 You're not jumping? No, I'm not gonna jump. 87 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:56,007 Of course I wouldn't jump. I draw it in later because it's 88 00:03:56,009 --> 00:03:58,176 like a post effect. Well, what's badass about 89 00:03:58,178 --> 00:04:00,378 that? Your reaction is badass, you 90 00:04:00,380 --> 00:04:02,513 know? I want you to scream, "Badass! 91 00:04:02,515 --> 00:04:04,482 You know, that dude is badass! I've never seen anything as 92 00:04:04,484 --> 00:04:06,351 badass as that." You know? Oh... 93 00:04:06,353 --> 00:04:08,620 But don't say my name, 'cause you don't know this man. 94 00:04:08,622 --> 00:04:10,989 That's why it feels real, you know? 95 00:04:10,991 --> 00:04:12,991 Now, later, if you want to do, like, a Rudy-type situation 96 00:04:12,993 --> 00:04:14,959 where you carry me through the streets of Philadelphia, you 97 00:04:14,961 --> 00:04:17,328 know, that's cool. We won't. 98 00:04:17,330 --> 00:04:19,697 I can put that in the schedule. 99 00:04:19,699 --> 00:04:21,866 It's not a post effect? No, that's a practical 100 00:04:21,868 --> 00:04:23,835 fect, that would happen real, but only if it's organic, you 101 00:04:23,837 --> 00:04:25,970 know? This is a goddamn mess, this 102 00:04:25,972 --> 00:04:27,872 whole thing's a goddamn mess. I'm lost, I'm lost. 103 00:04:27,874 --> 00:04:30,008 You guys lost? You're not gonna be badass, 104 00:04:30,010 --> 00:04:31,943 but you're gonna... And we're not gonna react? 105 00:04:31,945 --> 00:04:33,811 This is all sounding a little bit like a complaint from you 106 00:04:33,813 --> 00:04:36,014 guys. Who's complaining?! 107 00:04:36,016 --> 00:04:38,016 We don't know what's going on! We don't know you. 108 00:04:38,018 --> 00:04:39,984 Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac! 109 00:04:39,986 --> 00:04:41,953 - Badass! Badass! Badass! - Badass! Badass! 110 00:04:41,955 --> 00:04:44,088 All right, Country Mac, let's do... 111 00:04:44,090 --> 00:04:46,090 Keep it going. Keep it going. All right. 112 00:04:46,092 --> 00:04:48,259 Let's do this! Let's do this! Badass. 113 00:04:48,261 --> 00:04:51,929 Badass. 114 00:04:51,931 --> 00:04:56,034 It's pretty high, it's good. It's excellent, it's gonna be 115 00:04:56,036 --> 00:04:57,935 great. You better jump quick before 116 00:04:57,937 --> 00:04:59,871 somebody tries to stop you. Trust me, no one's gonna try 117 00:04:59,873 --> 00:05:02,273 and stop me. Jump, asshole! 118 00:05:02,275 --> 00:05:04,142 Yep. See, in the big city, nobody cares whether you live or 119 00:05:04,144 --> 00:05:06,544 die. Jump, you pussy! 120 00:05:06,546 --> 00:05:08,880 All right, have a nice day. Okay, so, I'm gonna run to the 121 00:05:08,882 --> 00:05:12,450 end, book as fast as I can to the fence, climb up to the top, 122 00:05:12,452 --> 00:05:15,420 stop, climb back down to safety. That's it. 123 00:05:15,422 --> 00:05:21,225 So, you're not gonna jump? I don't jump, okay? 124 00:05:21,227 --> 00:05:23,394 Why does everybody think I jump? Nobody jumps. 125 00:05:23,396 --> 00:05:25,363 Evel Knievel didn't jump. Johnny Knoxville doesn't jump. 126 00:05:25,365 --> 00:05:27,532 Okay, this is big Hollywood stuff, okay? Just stand back. 127 00:05:27,534 --> 00:05:32,870 I don't want you to get hurt. Let me handle it. 128 00:05:32,872 --> 00:05:34,839 Oh, wow! Oh, there's a man standing on the bridge. 129 00:05:34,841 --> 00:05:37,175 What?! Yes, he looks like... 130 00:05:37,177 --> 00:05:39,544 Look at that. His name is Mac. 131 00:05:39,546 --> 00:05:41,746 No, we don't know his name. We don't know it. 132 00:05:41,748 --> 00:05:43,881 Oh. His name is Rudy, I believe, 133 00:05:43,883 --> 00:05:46,050 you guys. That's what it was-- Rudy. 134 00:05:46,052 --> 00:05:48,019 We don't know what his name is, and that's okay, but we 135 00:05:48,021 --> 00:05:50,154 don't know each other. Hi. How are you? 136 00:05:50,156 --> 00:05:52,290 Nice to meet you. Oh, hi, hi, but it looks like 137 00:05:52,292 --> 00:05:54,325 he may commit suicide. Ah! 138 00:05:54,327 --> 00:05:55,393 Oh! Suicide is badass. 139 00:05:55,395 --> 00:05:56,894 Right! No, no, no, no, Rudy's not 140 00:05:56,896 --> 00:05:58,429 trying to kill himself. We don't know his name. 141 00:05:58,431 --> 00:05:59,631 He just likes to jump, I guess. 142 00:05:59,632 --> 00:06:01,332 Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Mac is the one who's the 143 00:06:01,334 --> 00:06:02,433 badass, remember that. Badass. 144 00:06:02,435 --> 00:06:03,668 No, we don't... Will you stop, stop, stop? 145 00:06:03,670 --> 00:06:04,869 Everybody stop. Come on, guys. What are we doing? 146 00:06:04,871 --> 00:06:06,170 I don't know what we're doing. 147 00:06:06,172 --> 00:06:07,538 We got to get on the same page. 148 00:06:07,540 --> 00:06:08,740 It's so unclear. He gave us, like... 149 00:06:08,742 --> 00:06:10,308 Don't know what we're doing. Maybe just you talk. 150 00:06:10,310 --> 00:06:11,909 Well, whatever it is, we got to get on the same page. 151 00:06:11,911 --> 00:06:13,611 Otherwise, we're gonna have to do it over and over and over... 152 00:06:13,613 --> 00:06:14,979 Did someone just go plop? 153 00:06:14,981 --> 00:06:16,748 Looked like it. Someone just jumped. 154 00:06:16,750 --> 00:06:18,816 Someone jumped. He jumped! That's it! 155 00:06:18,818 --> 00:06:22,053 He jumped, guys! He jumped! The day's over, the day's over. 156 00:06:22,055 --> 00:06:23,921 Country Mac is gone, he's dead. Let's get out of here. 157 00:06:23,923 --> 00:06:25,823 Look! Look, look, look! What? What? Oh. 158 00:06:25,825 --> 00:06:27,892 Whoa! Oh, holy shit! Oh, my God! 159 00:06:27,894 --> 00:06:30,762 Oh, wow! Wow! Whoa! 160 00:06:30,764 --> 00:06:32,730 Well, how'd that look? Oh, amazing! All right! 161 00:06:32,732 --> 00:06:34,565 How did it look? How'd it look? Badass! 162 00:06:34,567 --> 00:06:36,534 It looked badass, dude. I cannot believe you jumped. 163 00:06:36,536 --> 00:06:38,469 Whoa! No, that's not really 164 00:06:38,471 --> 00:06:40,438 badass, guys. That's dangerous. Um, can we put him on our 165 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:42,607 shoulders and parade him around like Rudy? 166 00:06:42,609 --> 00:06:44,509 I'm feeling that now. I want to do that. 167 00:06:44,511 --> 00:06:46,577 I'm feeling that now. Yeah, yeah... 168 00:06:46,579 --> 00:06:48,446 No, no, no, no, no, I don't 169 00:06:48,448 --> 00:06:50,415 think that's gonna work anymore. That's not gonna fit into our 170 00:06:50,417 --> 00:06:52,316 schedule, you know? I mean... I mean, it was your idea... 171 00:06:52,318 --> 00:06:54,152 No, we're very full. 172 00:06:54,154 --> 00:06:55,920 We're very full now. This is not gonna play. 173 00:06:55,922 --> 00:06:58,055 We're gonna move on to day four now. 174 00:06:58,057 --> 00:06:59,891 Well, wait, wait, wait, wait. You skipped day three. 175 00:06:59,893 --> 00:07:01,826 Uh, day three is when God created trees and grass and 176 00:07:01,828 --> 00:07:03,995 nature. You know, kind of a bullshit 177 00:07:03,997 --> 00:07:05,930 day, so we're gonna move on to day four where God created the 178 00:07:05,932 --> 00:07:09,534 stars. 179 00:07:09,536 --> 00:07:15,606 If you look at the Orion constellation and then track 180 00:07:15,608 --> 00:07:19,210 across to the Big Dipper, you'll see a gaseous, cloud-like area. 181 00:07:19,212 --> 00:07:21,813 Okay, I'm gonna need you guys to go ahead and 182 00:07:21,815 --> 00:07:25,049 ignore everything that this clown is saying. 183 00:07:25,051 --> 00:07:27,752 God created the stars 5,000 years ago. 184 00:07:27,754 --> 00:07:29,754 Uh, who has the pillow? I need a pillow. 185 00:07:29,756 --> 00:07:32,123 I think I thought of a way 186 00:07:32,125 --> 00:07:34,158 that we can work day three into this experience. 187 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,128 No, we're on day four. And, besides, there's no trees 188 00:07:37,130 --> 00:07:39,730 or herbs in the planetarium. But there's herb. 189 00:07:39,732 --> 00:07:42,099 Hmm? Who wants to smoke a "J"? 190 00:07:42,101 --> 00:07:44,902 Oh, shit. You brought weed? No, no, no, we're not smoking 191 00:07:44,904 --> 00:07:46,971 weed, okay? It's still illegal in the state 192 00:07:46,973 --> 00:07:48,973 of Pennsylvania. Puff, puff, pass, bitches. 193 00:07:48,975 --> 00:07:50,942 Yeah. Yeah, come on, Mac, shut up. 194 00:07:50,944 --> 00:07:53,244 I thought you were a badass. There's nothing 195 00:07:53,246 --> 00:07:55,446 badass about breaking the law, Charlie. 196 00:07:55,448 --> 00:07:58,249 This is gonna make it way more fun, dude. 197 00:07:58,251 --> 00:08:01,552 This isn't about fun. It's about fearing God, okay? 198 00:08:01,554 --> 00:08:03,521 I'm trying to convert you guys. Oh, my God, is that what this 199 00:08:03,523 --> 00:08:05,523 is about? You're not gonna convert me in 200 00:08:05,525 --> 00:08:07,492 one day. I don't believe in God. 201 00:08:07,494 --> 00:08:09,594 Well, you should. Because if you don't, God will 202 00:08:09,596 --> 00:08:13,331 make a flood or a famine, okay? He will destroy you with 203 00:08:13,333 --> 00:08:15,967 tornadoes and earthquakes and AIDS. 204 00:08:15,969 --> 00:08:17,935 Where do you think AIDS came from? 205 00:08:17,937 --> 00:08:19,937 Uh, hello, God's gift to the gays. 206 00:08:19,939 --> 00:08:21,906 Oh... Oh, my God. 207 00:08:21,908 --> 00:08:23,875 You're gonna ruin this high, dude. 208 00:08:23,877 --> 00:08:26,043 Mac, I think you're a little confused there. 209 00:08:26,045 --> 00:08:29,213 I mean, yeah, sure, bad things do happen. 210 00:08:29,215 --> 00:08:35,253 But what about sunsets? Oh... French kisses. Oh... 211 00:08:35,255 --> 00:08:37,555 The smell of rain. Yeah. 212 00:08:37,557 --> 00:08:41,058 That's why I believe in God. Yeah. 213 00:08:41,060 --> 00:08:44,161 Not because of the things that he takes away from us but 214 00:08:44,163 --> 00:08:46,464 because of the things that he gives to us. 215 00:08:46,466 --> 00:08:48,766 Oh... dude. Shit, dude. 216 00:08:48,768 --> 00:08:50,768 You just ripped a hole in my mind. 217 00:08:50,770 --> 00:08:52,737 See, that's the God I l... I like that. 218 00:08:52,739 --> 00:08:54,605 I'm choosing that one. Excuse me, who's talking back 219 00:08:54,607 --> 00:08:57,241 there? Shut up, science bitch. 220 00:08:57,243 --> 00:09:01,112 Yeah. Yeah, shut up, science 221 00:09:01,114 --> 00:09:03,080 bitch! Aw, dude, dude, dude. 222 00:09:03,082 --> 00:09:04,882 Come on, man. He just said it. 223 00:09:04,884 --> 00:09:09,120 He just said it. He just did it. 224 00:09:09,122 --> 00:09:16,427 Oh. What the hell? 225 00:09:16,429 --> 00:09:19,630 Carbs-wise, this is gonna set 226 00:09:19,632 --> 00:09:21,666 me back, but I don't even give a shit. 227 00:09:21,668 --> 00:09:23,734 Yes. 228 00:09:23,736 --> 00:09:25,536 Country Mac's awesome. Yes. 229 00:09:25,538 --> 00:09:27,505 Yeah. This weed that he gave us is 230 00:09:27,507 --> 00:09:31,676 awesome. It's... Yes. Yeah. 231 00:09:31,678 --> 00:09:35,947 All these years I've been feeling like I hate karate. 232 00:09:35,949 --> 00:09:42,019 And, like, I hate Project Badass and, like... I hate God. 233 00:09:42,021 --> 00:09:51,629 Yes. But, like... I realize... you know what I really hate... is Mac. 234 00:09:51,631 --> 00:09:57,768 Yes. Like, he's made all those cool things suck. Not only is he, like, 235 00:09:57,770 --> 00:10:01,973 rui... ning my life... but with all this God shit that 236 00:10:01,975 --> 00:10:08,145 he's into... he could be ruining my afterlife. Yes. 237 00:10:08,147 --> 00:10:10,557 I thought that one was gonna... Let me try. 238 00:10:17,524 --> 00:10:21,668 So... Yeah, I get that. 239 00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:29,715 Okay, I feel like we got a little bit off the rails back 240 00:10:29,835 --> 00:10:31,235 there, but I'm ready to get back on. 241 00:10:31,258 --> 00:10:33,225 Dude, did you guys see the way Country Mac was riding his 242 00:10:33,227 --> 00:10:35,060 motorcycle? Badass, dude! 243 00:10:35,062 --> 00:10:37,028 No, it was reckless once again. 244 00:10:37,030 --> 00:10:38,830 I thought it was awesome! He was like Batman, just 245 00:10:38,832 --> 00:10:40,799 zipping through the cars. He beat us here by, like, an 246 00:10:40,801 --> 00:10:44,436 hour. Oh, I want to get a motorcycle, man. Dude, we should all get 247 00:10:44,438 --> 00:10:46,404 motorcycles! Okay, that's enough! Okay? 248 00:10:46,406 --> 00:10:48,206 Enough about Country Mac. It's still my day. 249 00:10:48,208 --> 00:10:50,041 Yeah. Thank you. 250 00:10:50,043 --> 00:10:52,010 On the fifth day, God made fish, so we'll just skip right past 251 00:10:52,012 --> 00:10:53,812 that. Yeah, we'll skip that. 252 00:10:53,814 --> 00:10:55,614 You're skipping a lot of days, dude. 253 00:10:55,616 --> 00:10:57,616 Well, you can't fit it all into one day. 254 00:10:57,618 --> 00:10:59,417 That's preposterous. You're the one who came up 255 00:10:59,419 --> 00:11:01,586 with the structure, so... that's preposterous. 256 00:11:01,588 --> 00:11:04,389 All right, on the sixth day, God created the beasts of the 257 00:11:04,391 --> 00:11:08,226 earth and he made man in his own image. 258 00:11:08,228 --> 00:11:13,098 And beholdeth... the image of God. 259 00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:18,970 Oh, shit. 260 00:11:18,972 --> 00:11:21,806 Okay, everybody grab some grease. 261 00:11:21,808 --> 00:11:27,579 Why? Because we're gonna grease up these beefcakes. No! No! Come on! No! 262 00:11:27,581 --> 00:11:30,081 Easy, Frank. Frank, you better take it easy! 263 00:11:30,083 --> 00:11:32,984 Listen! These guys work off their beautiful glutes for our 264 00:11:32,986 --> 00:11:35,320 enjoyment, okay? The least we can do is pay them 265 00:11:35,322 --> 00:11:37,355 back in tan and grease. Greasing dudes. 266 00:11:37,357 --> 00:11:39,424 Yep. That's why we're here today. 267 00:11:39,426 --> 00:11:41,660 I ain't doing this! About time you guys got here. 268 00:11:41,662 --> 00:11:44,095 Hey, there you are. Country Mac, man. Hey, bro. 269 00:11:44,097 --> 00:11:46,064 Listen, dude, can you get us out of here? 270 00:11:46,066 --> 00:11:48,033 Yeah, you got to get us out of here, man. 271 00:11:48,035 --> 00:11:50,001 Get out of here? I'm lovin' it. 272 00:11:50,003 --> 00:11:52,037 I've been gettin' phone numbers left and right. 273 00:11:52,039 --> 00:11:54,272 Oh, sweet, there's chicks here? 274 00:11:54,274 --> 00:11:57,209 Chicks? No. Dudes. 275 00:11:57,211 --> 00:12:01,246 I'm into dudes. Oh... you're gay. 276 00:12:01,248 --> 00:12:03,048 Loud and proud, brother. Loud and proud. 277 00:12:03,050 --> 00:12:05,083 Yeah, ain't nothing wrong with that. 278 00:12:05,085 --> 00:12:06,918 There's nothing wrong with that. 279 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:08,753 Honestly, it's, like, refreshing to hear. 280 00:12:08,755 --> 00:12:10,989 You know what, happy hunting, bro, get after it. 281 00:12:10,991 --> 00:12:14,859 Cool, cool, cool. I'll see you all in a little bit. Cool, yeah, yeah. 282 00:12:14,861 --> 00:12:16,595 See, he doesn't want us to grease them, you know? 283 00:12:16,597 --> 00:12:18,296 God, that's awesome. Because he wants them. 284 00:12:18,298 --> 00:12:20,098 It doe... Right. He wants them for himself. 285 00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:22,067 It's so much more comfortable when someone's gay and open 286 00:12:22,069 --> 00:12:23,835 about it. And, like, I know we've never 287 00:12:23,837 --> 00:12:25,537 said this as a group, but... Mac's gay. 288 00:12:25,539 --> 00:12:27,205 Yeah, Mac's gay. He's gay. 289 00:12:27,207 --> 00:12:28,840 He's gay. I mean... okay... smiles. 290 00:12:28,842 --> 00:12:30,642 Hey! Hey! What's with all the chitchat? 291 00:12:30,644 --> 00:12:32,477 Legs and hammies are drying up by the second. 292 00:12:32,479 --> 00:12:34,446 We got stoned and we're uncomfortable. 293 00:12:34,448 --> 00:12:36,248 We're trying to deal with the whole thing. 294 00:12:36,250 --> 00:12:38,283 You guys need to start greasing some dudes or I'm gonna 295 00:12:38,285 --> 00:12:40,151 freak out, all right? I'm gonna freak out, and I'm 296 00:12:40,153 --> 00:12:42,020 gonna add another day! No, no, no. We'll grease, 297 00:12:42,022 --> 00:12:43,989 we'll grease, we'll grease. We're ready to grease. 298 00:12:43,991 --> 00:12:45,790 Give me the grease. We'll grease the dudes and... 299 00:12:45,792 --> 00:12:47,792 Okay, that's what I like to hear. 300 00:12:47,794 --> 00:12:49,761 But don't blow your wads on these guys, okay? 301 00:12:49,763 --> 00:12:53,632 I mean... We still have the karate tournament. We're gonna watch you fight? 302 00:12:53,634 --> 00:12:55,033 Fight? No. No, day seven is God's day of 303 00:12:55,035 --> 00:12:57,569 rest and judgment. So I'm gonna sit back and watch 304 00:12:57,571 --> 00:13:00,238 and judge everybody else in the tournament. 305 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:03,508 Hey, Mac. I'm drying up over here. 306 00:13:03,510 --> 00:13:05,510 Sorry, Big Moe. Sorry about that. 307 00:13:05,512 --> 00:13:07,479 I'll be right there. Get to work. Get to work. 308 00:13:07,481 --> 00:13:09,281 Grease 'em up, come on. Yeah, okay. 309 00:13:09,283 --> 00:13:11,249 All right. Yeah. 310 00:13:11,251 --> 00:13:13,084 All right, bud. He's got the boner again. 311 00:13:13,086 --> 00:13:16,855 Yeah. Yeah. Well, at least this time it makes sense, huh? Hmm. 312 00:13:16,857 --> 00:13:21,693 All right, listen. I got an idea. 313 00:13:26,452 --> 00:13:29,701 Ooh, I don't know about this. This doesn't feel right. 314 00:13:29,703 --> 00:13:31,670 No, this is good. This is gonna be good for him. 315 00:13:31,672 --> 00:13:34,272 I promise. This is the only way. Oh! Hey. 316 00:13:34,274 --> 00:13:36,641 I got you guys all notebooks and pens. 317 00:13:36,643 --> 00:13:38,643 We're gonna start with the yellow belts 'cause it's an 318 00:13:38,645 --> 00:13:40,612 inferior class. Actually, we've got a 319 00:13:40,614 --> 00:13:42,580 surprise for you, Mac. Yeah. We signed you up. 320 00:13:42,582 --> 00:13:44,382 You're competing. Huh? 321 00:13:44,384 --> 00:13:46,384 You're gonna go fight a guy. A black belt actually. 322 00:13:46,386 --> 00:13:48,486 You're in the tournament. No, no, I-I don't think 323 00:13:48,488 --> 00:13:50,288 that's a good idea. Mostly because I don't have the 324 00:13:50,290 --> 00:13:52,257 right gear, and I'm not... You're wearing a gi. 325 00:13:52,259 --> 00:13:54,059 You are wearing a gi. Yeah, that is the gear. 326 00:13:54,061 --> 00:13:56,061 That's the only gear. I notice you're also wearing 327 00:13:56,063 --> 00:13:58,029 a black belt. Now, you are a black belt, 328 00:13:58,031 --> 00:13:59,831 correct? Um, not technicaly. 329 00:13:59,833 --> 00:14:01,766 Um, only because I haven't subscribed to one... discipline. 330 00:14:01,768 --> 00:14:03,501 But you are good enough to fight in a black belt 331 00:14:03,503 --> 00:14:05,570 tournament. 'Cause you're wearing a black 332 00:14:05,572 --> 00:14:07,372 belt. Of course. 333 00:14:07,374 --> 00:14:09,341 Shit, Mac, you can do it. Just go right for the guy's 334 00:14:09,343 --> 00:14:11,176 throat. I know I can do it. 335 00:14:11,178 --> 00:14:13,144 That's not the... I feel like you're talking a lot throughout 336 00:14:13,146 --> 00:14:15,113 the day. I know I can do it. 337 00:14:15,115 --> 00:14:16,948 So if you can do it, then do it. 338 00:14:16,950 --> 00:14:18,983 I'll sign up if Mac doesn't want to. 339 00:14:18,985 --> 00:14:22,754 I'm gonna do it. I said I was... I was never not gonna do it. I'm excited. 340 00:14:22,756 --> 00:14:27,158 Yeah. I-I'm really excited to see this, man. You are gonna kick that guy's 341 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:29,260 ass, whoever he is. 342 00:14:41,475 --> 00:14:43,274 This is cruel. Oof. 343 00:14:43,276 --> 00:14:45,243 I can't watch it, you know? Trust me, this is for his own 344 00:14:45,245 --> 00:14:49,280 good. If he doesn't face this now, he never will. Yeah, it's too bad, but he's 345 00:14:49,282 --> 00:14:54,352 got to get his ass kicked. Yep. It's time for this to end. Hi. 346 00:14:54,354 --> 00:14:59,357 Okay, now bow. Not to me, Karate Kid, to him. 347 00:14:59,359 --> 00:15:01,960 Oh. Bow. 348 00:15:01,962 --> 00:15:06,030 Bow. Ready. Fight! 349 00:15:09,703 --> 00:15:11,836 Block, point, Mac! 350 00:15:11,838 --> 00:15:13,972 Shit. Guys, did you see that? 351 00:15:13,974 --> 00:15:16,908 I got a point! I got a point! 352 00:15:16,910 --> 00:15:20,345 Oh! Hell, no. 353 00:15:26,186 --> 00:15:32,390 Oh! 354 00:15:44,823 --> 00:15:45,953 That was badass! 355 00:15:46,193 --> 00:15:47,314 He kicked the shit out of that guy! 356 00:15:47,417 --> 00:15:50,275 Well, I got the actual point. Who cares? You lost. 357 00:15:50,395 --> 00:15:54,122 Country Mac won. Yeah, but it's about the art, okay? Oh, the art. 358 00:15:54,124 --> 00:15:56,925 You got your ass kicked-- that's what happened. 359 00:15:56,927 --> 00:15:59,060 I scored an actual point in an actual karate tournament and 360 00:15:59,062 --> 00:16:00,795 against an actual black belt. Country Mac beat the shit out 361 00:16:00,797 --> 00:16:03,031 of that guy with a beer and his T-shirt. 362 00:16:03,033 --> 00:16:04,733 Yeah, and where is he always getting those beers, man? 363 00:16:04,735 --> 00:16:06,701 That's the most badass thing I've ever seen. 364 00:16:06,703 --> 00:16:08,737 Out of the blue, he gets a beer. 365 00:16:08,739 --> 00:16:11,306 No, it's years of training finally paying off, and an 366 00:16:11,308 --> 00:16:13,641 uncontested black belt point is the most badass... 367 00:16:13,643 --> 00:16:15,610 Oh, my God, we're never gonna hear the end of this. 368 00:16:15,612 --> 00:16:17,579 Stop, stop! Hold on a second, Mac. 369 00:16:17,581 --> 00:16:19,814 No, no. Listen, you got your ass kicked today-- that's what 370 00:16:19,816 --> 00:16:21,716 happened, plain and simple. So I want you to admit it. 371 00:16:21,718 --> 00:16:23,385 Dennis, don't. The day's almost over. 372 00:16:23,387 --> 00:16:25,353 We only have a couple of hours. No, n-n-n-no, Dee, we have a 373 00:16:25,355 --> 00:16:27,355 lifetime of this to look forward to, and I for one can't stand 374 00:16:27,357 --> 00:16:29,491 it. You are not a badass, pal. 375 00:16:29,493 --> 00:16:31,993 Admit it to us right now. Get on your knees! 376 00:16:31,995 --> 00:16:34,095 You are not a badass! Oh, my God! 377 00:16:34,097 --> 00:16:36,064 Hey, what's wrong with you, guy? 378 00:16:36,066 --> 00:16:38,967 You got a problem? You got the problem, asshole. 379 00:16:38,969 --> 00:16:41,136 Look out! 380 00:16:41,138 --> 00:16:43,571 Shit. You bring a knife to a fight, 381 00:16:43,573 --> 00:16:46,408 you better be ready to use it, you jabroni. 382 00:16:46,410 --> 00:16:49,677 Just... don't come back here, you punks. 383 00:16:49,679 --> 00:16:52,113 Aw, you made him look like a bitch! 384 00:16:52,115 --> 00:16:53,782 Holy shit. Nice... very nice. 385 00:16:53,784 --> 00:16:56,251 Oh, you are badass, dude. How'd you know he had a knife 386 00:16:56,253 --> 00:16:58,620 on him? I gave him an ocular patdown. 387 00:16:58,622 --> 00:17:01,756 Assessed the threat level. Clocked a knife in his boot. 388 00:17:01,758 --> 00:17:05,794 Huh! Holy shit. 389 00:17:05,796 --> 00:17:07,829 Guys, I may have had a little bit of an accident in my pants, 390 00:17:07,831 --> 00:17:09,798 so I think I got to change out of this gi. 391 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,766 He just gave that guy an ocular patdown, and it actually 392 00:17:11,768 --> 00:17:13,768 worked. It worked. 393 00:17:13,770 --> 00:17:15,970 He made a lucky guess, and he put us all in danger. 394 00:17:15,972 --> 00:17:17,672 You made a poopy in your pants! 395 00:17:17,674 --> 00:17:19,040 Did anybody else do a poopoo in their pants? 396 00:17:19,042 --> 00:17:20,475 No. Of course not. 397 00:17:20,477 --> 00:17:22,377 This is our head of security! I don't need to listen to 398 00:17:22,379 --> 00:17:24,412 this, okay? I'm gonna change out of this gi 399 00:17:24,414 --> 00:17:26,314 and then we're gonna keep going with the day, okay? 400 00:17:26,316 --> 00:17:28,216 I have a series of lectures that we're gonna get to. 401 00:17:28,218 --> 00:17:30,285 Go get the poop out of your pants. 402 00:17:30,287 --> 00:17:32,253 I can't wait for the lectures. 403 00:17:32,255 --> 00:17:34,656 Goddamn, man. The guy is in complete denial 404 00:17:34,658 --> 00:17:36,724 about absolutely every aspect of his life. 405 00:17:36,726 --> 00:17:38,726 And there is nothing we can do about it. 406 00:17:38,728 --> 00:17:41,029 I say we switch him out. Huh? 407 00:17:41,031 --> 00:17:43,465 Country Mac for Paddy's Mac. We send Mac to the country, 408 00:17:43,467 --> 00:17:45,133 bring Country Mac here. Yeah, to the bar. 409 00:17:45,135 --> 00:17:47,035 That's not a bad idea. I mean, look, we'd be safer with 410 00:17:47,037 --> 00:17:49,003 an actual badass in the bar. We might actually become a 411 00:17:49,005 --> 00:17:50,839 little bit more badass ourselves. 412 00:17:50,841 --> 00:17:52,807 We would become more like Country Mac, which'd be great. 413 00:17:52,809 --> 00:17:54,642 We have a lot to learn from him. 414 00:17:54,644 --> 00:17:56,344 We should all get motorcycles. And drink much more beer. 415 00:17:56,346 --> 00:17:57,712 And smoke more weed, you guys. 416 00:17:57,714 --> 00:17:59,080 And get in fights and do all those things. 417 00:17:59,082 --> 00:18:00,482 Can we make this happen before he comes back out...? 418 00:18:00,484 --> 00:18:02,517 Let's talk to him, let's talk to him. 419 00:18:02,519 --> 00:18:04,786 Hey, um... hey, Country Mac, can we just talk to you for one 420 00:18:04,788 --> 00:18:06,754 quick second, buddy? Um, listen, we were just talking 421 00:18:06,756 --> 00:18:09,891 and, man, we sure would like for you to stay with us. 422 00:18:09,893 --> 00:18:12,160 I mean, like-like, stay with us forever. 423 00:18:12,162 --> 00:18:14,696 Will you be part of our gang? Yep. 424 00:18:14,698 --> 00:18:17,866 Uh... just "yep"? Just, like... That's it? 425 00:18:17,868 --> 00:18:19,834 You're not gonna give a speech or lecture us or anything like 426 00:18:19,836 --> 00:18:21,836 that? No bossiness? 427 00:18:21,838 --> 00:18:25,173 No pontificating? It's not my style. 428 00:18:25,175 --> 00:18:28,109 I just go with the flow. Let the wind blow through my 429 00:18:28,111 --> 00:18:30,078 hair. Yeah. 430 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:32,280 Oh. 431 00:18:32,282 --> 00:18:35,250 Oh, wow. I love that guy. 432 00:18:35,252 --> 00:18:39,320 Aw, look at him go. Where's he even going? 433 00:18:39,322 --> 00:18:41,289 I mean, the fact that we don't know where he's going 434 00:18:41,291 --> 00:18:43,925 makes him all the more badass. Uh-oh. Whoops. 435 00:18:43,927 --> 00:18:45,927 Whoopsie. He fell, huh? 436 00:18:45,929 --> 00:18:47,729 Tipped over a little bit. Ooh. 437 00:18:47,731 --> 00:18:49,731 He's probably okay, though, right? 438 00:18:49,733 --> 00:18:51,699 Well, yeah, he just... popped over. 439 00:18:51,701 --> 00:18:53,902 A little-little bump. He's fine. He's good, he's good, 440 00:18:53,904 --> 00:18:56,804 he's good, he's good. 441 00:18:56,806 --> 00:19:02,944 Country Mac lived a reckless life. 442 00:19:02,946 --> 00:19:08,049 He wasn't the kind of guy that could score a point in a black 443 00:19:08,051 --> 00:19:12,053 belt karate contest. And it turns out, he was totally 444 00:19:12,055 --> 00:19:16,324 queer. Which, as we all know, is a sin. 445 00:19:16,326 --> 00:19:18,993 And that, coupled with his radical religious beliefs, has 446 00:19:18,995 --> 00:19:24,666 most likely landed him in Hell, where he will burn for all 447 00:19:24,668 --> 00:19:27,869 eternity. So I will ask for a moment of 448 00:19:27,871 --> 00:19:32,407 silence, in which I will beg God's forgiveness for Country 449 00:19:32,409 --> 00:19:38,146 Mac's evil, homo ways, while simultaneously doing a series of 450 00:19:38,148 --> 00:19:44,452 karate moves that I know Country Mac would've enjoyed so much. 451 00:19:44,454 --> 00:19:48,356 Well, guys, I think the real 452 00:19:48,358 --> 00:19:50,358 lesson here is that there's nothing badass about riding a 453 00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:52,327 motorcycle without a helmet. Right. 454 00:19:52,329 --> 00:19:54,329 Plus, he was drunk all the time. 455 00:19:54,331 --> 00:19:56,297 Yeah. You know what's badass? 456 00:19:56,299 --> 00:19:58,266 Being alive. Yeah. 457 00:19:58,268 --> 00:20:01,502 So, uh, what do we do about this guy? 458 00:20:01,504 --> 00:20:08,009 >> Namaste. Namaste. 459 00:20:08,011 --> 00:20:10,912 Okay, we will now pile into the car, where we will go to the 460 00:20:10,914 --> 00:20:13,815 countryside to leave Country Mac's ashes in a place that he 461 00:20:13,817 --> 00:20:16,451 loved so well. Actually, we won't. 462 00:20:16,453 --> 00:20:21,256 Because it's officially Frank Day, so... 463 00:20:21,258 --> 00:20:27,244 All right, Pee Country Mac. 464 00:20:27,504 --> 00:20:37,901 Sync and corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 465 00:20:37,951 --> 00:20:42,501 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0